Nothing starts a juicy conversation at a sleepover like the question, “Who was your first kiss?” It’s inevitably followed by countless, dreamy stories that lead up to that kiss. However, there are always a few girls or boys that sit there quietly with no story to tell. They usually say they “just wanna get it over with” or that “it’s not a big deal anyway,” when the look on their face says otherwise.

A first kiss isn’t a huge deal but also isn’t meaningless. This obsession over romantic endeavours reflects the tremendous pressure that kids experience to have a first kiss or first relationship, typically by high school. This pressure seems to hit like a semi-truck, but it isn’t worth all the worrying we do about it.

First kisses, like first relationships, should not be the result of a pressure to have it done by a certain time. High school relationships are meant to teach us about deeper, romantic connections with others to prepare us for our adult years. When someone enters a relationship for the wrong reasons, it does not teach them how a healthy relationship works and can actually teach them the wrong lessons.

If we can’t find a significant other, I feel like we sometimes believe that something is wrong with us or we are not “dateable.” Girlfriends and boyfriends are supposed to make us feel special, but finding that person at a young age is a game of chance. It’s great if you find someone you click with, but if you do not, it just means you have to wait a little longer. Absolutely nothing is wrong with you.

If you do find an amazing person and choose to enter a monogamous relationship, the pressure to physically “go farther” with your partner can become yet another anxiety-inducer. I know this can be one scary experience because I’ve seen many of my friends put in this situation. This feeling of needing to please your partner will only make you uncomfortable in the relationship and cause further problems, so honesty about not feeling ready to go farther is the best way to avoid an unnecessary fight.

Remember a few things about this dating craziness: you do not need a partner – you can be a wonderful, inspiring person without someone beside you – and if you are in a relationship, please respect your partner’s decisions and morals. If you don’t, you will only end up hurting your partner. Dating is not as important as we have made it out to be, but it is what it is and now, we just need to navigate through this whirlwind we created.