I flick the light switch on in my brother’s room. The room is illuminated only a second later, as if trying to distract me from the realization that he is 857 miles away.
Outside the window, my brother’s car sits in the driveway, its engine cold, sunroof shut, and stereo off. As my eyes scan the room, the subtle layer of dust blanketing each piece of furniture makes everything feel too real.
Jan, my older brother and one of my closest friends, is off to college in a completely different state, and I will not see him again for what feels like forever.
For younger siblings, this transition can be very lonely, but this is actually not a unique experience. Nearly 37 percent of South students have experienced an older sibling who has moved away, according to an unscientific survey of 296 students conducted by The Oracle. About 44 percent of students with older siblings in college miss them at least a few days a week, showcasing the profound impact of an older sibling leaving, according to The Oracle survey. In the span of one dorm move-in day, many of us watched a sibling-shaped hole appear in our homes.
There is no longer anyone to bring you a snack when they see you are up late studying. There is no one to beg you to leave for school a little bit earlier because you are cutting it just a little too close for their liking. There is no longer anyone’s room to retreat to when you are stuck on a math problem.
As I talk to other students about their relationship with their siblings, I often hear things like, “I can’t wait until my sister goes to college. I finally won’t have to fight over the bathroom with her every morning!”
Even though all sibling relationships have their annoying moments, your siblings are your anchor. They are some of the only people who have known you all your life, who you can always connect with in both the good and bad moments.
I wish I had looked past Jan’s bathroom-hogging and endlessly empty stomach while he was still around to bother me. I now realize that all of his little behaviors that used to irritate me are the same things that shaped my definition of home.
As this August began to creep up, Jan and I made an effort to make one of our last truly free summers together memorable. By taking trips on the Metra and exploring Chicago, going on late-night karaoke drives, and working out at the gym together, my brother and I formed a close, supportive bond that is able to weather any storm.
For those who are also transitioning to living away from their siblings, know that there are many ways to stay connected. One being to keep each other updated: it might be even easier to talk to your sibling when you don’t have to squabble over a shared space.
In many cases, the physical distance creates room for supportive relationships to become stronger and more meaningful, according to the National Library of Medicine. Once Jan moved out and transitioned into an environment where he knew nobody, a simple FaceTime call or check-in text offered both of us a tremendous amount of comfort.
Build honest and strong relationships with your siblings, whether they are still at home or thousands of miles away. Besides creating incredible memories that will last a lifetime, both of you will always have someone to confide in.
Even though my brother’s bedroom is physically empty, I know he is still there for me anytime I need him. Soon enough, Jan will be back home and we will start up his car again, taking another drive around town with the windows down and the music cranked up, laughter echoing between us, just like how it used to be.
