The news site of Glenbrook South High School.

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The news site of Glenbrook South High School.

The Oracle

The news site of Glenbrook South High School.

The Oracle

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A day in the life of a straight-up scumbag

Waddup brah? So yesterday was Friday, the best damn day of the week… except for maybe Saturday. But seriously, this Friday was mad decent.

When I first got up I could just tell it was gonna be totally chill. The morning started off with waking up and noticing texts from this one girl, Rachel. I fell asleep on a vibrating phone because of her. Didn’t respond. She did. Three times. Ha. She wants me.

Then I got dressed and it only took me like, ten minutes to pick out an outfit— I could just tell I was on my game (when am I not?). I brushed my teeth real good, cause I knew it’d have to last me awhile. Gotta stay fresh.

I went downstairs, and watched some SportsCenter with a bowl of Lucky Charms.

You know how some mornings, you really want to watch hot girls on t.v., but your mom’s standing right there in the kitchen, making your lunch? Well yeah this was one of those mornings. And about that lunch, too bad she doesn’t know it’s going straight in the garbage when I go out to lunch… with the ten dollars I stole from her wallet.

Then, right as I was about to leave for school, my mom decides to pull out a drug test. I laughed in her face and walked out the front door, making a mental note to have someone pee in something for me at school.

I got in my car and picked up Mike. We were still pretty early for school, so he had me pull into an empty parking lot so he could pack a sick bowl. How else does anyone prepare themselves for school? We drove with all the windows down… to air ourselves out, and at the last second remembered to put in some Visine.

Here’s where the lame part of my day begins. School. Got through my first four classes knowing I was going out for lunch. Walked right past that parapro, smile and all. Went to Wendy’s, then Scott’s house, and smoked… again.

Then, the second half of my day, or as I like to call it: classes-I-have-with-Hot-Girls. Walked into math. I’m failing… whoops. Kristen and Michelle are both in this class. Awkward.

Kristen’s crazy. She screamed at me when she walked in on Michelle and me at a party last weekend. Does she think I care…? I sat at the back of the room and shouted out random comments, as usual. Michelle laughed. Kristen didn’t.

The day ended without much to note in my other classes. Thank God. I got home and fell asleep on my couch watching Dazed and Confused… classic. Next I headed to a party at Josh’s house. Got there around nine, casually late. Like a BOSS. Played some pong and was on fire, not like that’s unusual though.

Katie and Lindsay were there. I’ve been texting them both intensely for the past week. They both want me. It’s so obvious. Katie’s drunker, so I go for her first. Score.

But why stop there when it’s that easy? Glad I went for it. Lindsay’s hotter anyways.

Getting with these girls is almost boring now. But I repeat, almost. I passed out in Josh’s basement, and went to Sarkis the next morning—what would I do without a bacon Loretta?

All in all, it was a great night, and as for tonight? Sarah better show up.

After hearing all this I know what you’re thinking and I’m actually thinking the same thing. I know that I’m wrong and that all I do is ruthless, disgusting, and shallow…

Just kidding. Had ya for a second there, didn’t I?

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