Who’s the evil one? Do you have twin telepathy? Who’s smarter? Do you ever fight?  These questions are ones that I face often. Being a twin often feels like living in a world full of clichés. What many fail to realize is that each twin is their own person. Just because me and my twin share a birthday, does not mean we share a life. 

The most common reaction I get is that my twin and I must be inseparable. People expect us to finish each other’s sentences, dress alike, look alike, and more. It’s almost as if people assume we are incapable of existing as individuals. I’ll never forget the day my old friend told me she only saw me as an extension of my sister. Sometimes, it feels as if I don’t even have my own name. Sure, we shared a room or had similar interests at one point, but we are still very distinct people with very different personalities. 

I consider myself to be very independent and individualistic, so constantly being forced into a box labeled, “twin” feels like suffocating.  Teachers mix us up, many reference us by only our last name, and people would pit us against each other in strange ways. I feel that people assume we are either very similar or polar opposites. If I was an introvert, that meant she had to be an extrovert. Or if I liked sports, that must mean she had to too. 

No matter how much I wanted people to see me for me, it always felt like I would be the counterpart. Don’t get me wrong, I love having a life-long best friend, but I just hate the stereotypes and experiences that come from it. The reality is that twins, just like everyone else,  need room to grow into who they are. I know I’ll always be “the twin” to someone, but hopefully, society will recognize our identities as separate. 

Twins are individuals. And yet, there’s an undeniable bond that comes from shared beginnings. It’s a connection much deeper than being compared. It’s about forging a life that is uniquely shared. So, the next time you meet a twin, resist the cliches. Ask about their real identities, their real experiences, and leave the surface-level assumptions behind.