My entire life I’ve watched my sister live her life three giant steps ahead of me. 

In a literal sense she was always going to be three years older, but it feels as though she is better at pretty much everything, from athletics to school.

 The constant comparison and twinges of jealousy began with sports, as my parents put us both into figure skating and tennis. Even though we went to practice together, I would watch Ava – skate one level ahead of me. Of course she was older so I knew it was fine, but in the back of my mind I was always thinking of the countless instances of comparisons, for instance, how she was able to do a camel spin and a lutz at age 12, but when I was 12, I was still in a level beneath her trying to get lower sit spin. 

From the day Ava entered high school she was determined to get all A’s, and her resilience never withered as she excelled in her honors and Advanced Placement classes, leaving high school with almost a perfect GPA. 

When it was time to choose my classes for high school, it felt as though I had to take all honors classes just like my sister. I worked hard throughout my freshman year and ended with pretty good grades;  however, it was always not as good as Ava. 

Sophomore year came around and once again, I was enrolled in all honors classes. I spent hours on weekends studying for classes that just seemed pointless. By the end of my sophomore year I was mentally exhausted and unhappy with my final grades, and once again I didn’t do as good as Ava. 

When it came time to sign up for my junior year classes, I began to wonder: why am I doing all of this? 

I used to look to my older sister for the answer of what classes I should take, and what electives are the best. However, what I began to realize was that my sister and I, while from an outside lens may seem identical from sports to school, are so vastly different.

I took all of those classes because I thought I had to be like her, like anything else wasn’t an option. 

This year I decided I was going to move down a level in a couple of classes because what’s more important are the things that I care about, and not the things that I did just because my sister did it. 

It’s easy for me to just follow the path that’s laid out in front of me, but at the end of the day I have the ability to pave my own path, with what I find meaningful and fulfilling.