He Said – Important-simply politeness, by Aaron Ach

With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, some are considering what they can do to give their better half especially romantic treatment, which usually means altering behavior in some way. What I am more interested in, however, is the way that people act toward one another the other 364 days of the year, how gender truly plays a role in this behavior and how the opposite sex feels about this behavior.

Chivalry traditionally means courteous behavior expected of gentlemen. Today, however, it is thought of solely as a behavior of men exhibited towards women for romantic purposes. I do not think there is a problem with being more mannered around women or anyone else, especially because politeness is on the decline in the world today, but chivalry seems to get a bad reputation.

Some argue that chivalry is a representation of male dominance in our supposedly equal world and that opening a car door for a woman puts her in a “damsel in distress” position. Trust me, ladies, guys don’t think that you are incapable of opening a door for yourself.

Chivalry is simply a moral code among fellow members of society. I would certainly open a car door for a woman or pull out her chair for her to sit down at a restaurant, even knowing she may feel uncomfortable. However, I would just as quickly open the door for another man as he was entering the restaurant, as I hope he would for me.

While nobody is going to pay for another person’s meal on a date in the cafeteria, chivalry in the South community may look like picking up someone’s books when they fall because it saves them the trouble or holding the classroom door open for a fellow student.

Chivalry is not dead, and I firmly believe it should stay alive because it represents good manners that seem to be declining today. Offensive behavior towards women is completely unrelated to chivalry, and any association between the two gives a skewed perception of chivalry; it is simply a code that encourages good behavior towards everyone.

She Said – Outdated-potentially offensive, by Kali Croke

A guy on a date offers you his coat, goes out of his way to open the car door for you, protects you from the rain and pays for dinner. This politeness and courtesy would have most girls drooling over this perfect gentleman, but in these situations, I’m uncomfortable.

At this point in the date, I wouldn’t storm out or call it quits—it’s just pure, innocent politeness, often termed as chivalry. However, what makes me incapable of opening my own door or handling a little rain or snow? Chivalry is an archaic concept that makes committing small acts of courtesy a man’s duty while women remain passive, facilitating unnecessary gender roles.

I equate acts of chivalry with a loss of my sense of independence, as if I cannot care for myself or handle something because I’m a “lady.” If aguy paid for my dinner, I wouldn’t instantly be offended, but I couldn’t sit comfortably while questioning why society considers it a man’s duty to take me out or spend money on me because it’s the “proper” wooing technique.

Being polite doesn’t make anyone a misogynist, but I want to bring attention to a concept that took root from chauvinistic times when men were placed in a position to care for a “docile sex” that still carries on unknowingly today. It’s a sexist concept, but all intents of usage are innocent and well-meant.

I’m not trying to convince you that the politeness of a man is altogether disrespectful and shouldn’t be tolerated, but I do find it extremely strange and sometimes uncomfortable when guys think they need to be overly cautious.

Girls: if you love to be treated like a princess, I genuinely hope you find someone who will give you what you’re looking for.

Guys: my opinion does not necessarily speak for all females. If you feel un-gentleman-like by not treating your girl the way you think you should,then pull out that chair. If you respect her opinion on these chivalrous acts and you mean well by them, then there’s nothing wrong with that.