The holidays have always been a time of consistency in my life. 

That’s what tradition is, is it not? Some way to stay the same as everything else is changing. Even if the thing that stayed the same was small, the sense of home it brought was tremendous.

From the same stockings my family has had since I was little, to the Christmas trees we choose, a lot stays the same throughout each holiday season. We keep the good things. 

People prefer to keep the things that work; but that, unfortunately, is not how life functions. 

Each year around the holidays, I reflect on my adventures in the past year. I sort through memories that are enhanced by the fire as time passes. Memories always feel better than the present.

As a person who struggles a lot with living in the present, especially during the holidays, when memories of “when I was little” are shoved in front of my eyes through photos and videos, it is hard to        believe the life I’m living right now is as easy-going as my past. 

Memories are a reminder of what you are presently missing. I miss the days where I would bundle up to go to school, excited. We would shuffle into our class while parents served cookies and Elf was projected on the whiteboard.

Now I sit in classrooms with teachers exclaiming: “You don’t have to study for finals over break, but I highly recommend that you do.”

I miss the holidays when I would prance down the stairs in some deliriously red and green nightgown in hopes of the Molly American Girl Doll awaiting me, and be instantly filled with joy.

I yearn for the days where my best friend was a mere backyard away, and how on holidays we would run over to show each other our new toys, playing with them until our eyelids drooped.

Christmas, and holidays in general, feel like a milestone, a marker of each year that I have lived through.

Change is horrifically uncomfortable and makes me feel so lost sometimes, but change is necessary to grow as a person. In a couple of years, I’ll probably envy my sophomore self. And, the cycle of never being present and chasing the past will continue; acceptance will break the cycle.

If we had the same mindsets as our 5-year-old selves, we would be happy, but we would be missing out on a lot too. We would lack the mental development that is necessary for a more efficient, connective, and independant future.

As teens grow mentally, they are learning how to feel enhanced emotions, and form more connections, according to parentandteen.com.

I want to be able to celebrate the holidays to the fullest. To me, that’s what they are for. We should not compare or judge ourselves, but instead, be present; soak up the memories that we are currently forming. And if we really want to look back, it is best to appreciate how far we have come since last holiday season.