Dear Bailey,

You are heading into your freshman year and I’m pretty sure you think that you’ve got it all figured out. I’m here to tell you—you don’t. Everyone who told you that you would blink and high school would be over was right, but I’ll tell you something they failed to mention: you have no idea how much can change in four short years.

You are so serious. You are so caught up in perfection and desperately afraid of failure. Anything short of a 5.0 GPA is unacceptable in your mind.

You’re enrolled in all honors and Chem-Phys. You won’t listen to those who are telling you not to do that to yourself and you’ll regret it later, but I promise it all works out.

Your epiphany about what it means to be “perfect” is spurred by an unlikely event. Toward the end of your sophomore year, despite your frustration and desperation to escape high school, you fall madly in love.

Before meeting Peter,  you had written off any and all possibilities of dating somebody worthwhile in high school. And perhaps you were justified in your cynicism after your various experiences of either being used and hurt, or bored to death by the boys you knew; your feelings were understandable.

He manages to surpass your greatest expectations and helps you realize that you don’t have to settle. He teaches you to love, but more importantly, to love yourself. It has been a long journey, with plenty of ups and downs, but it has all been so worth it.

At just 14, you are so fortunate to have such a meaningful relationship in your near future, but don’t skip the weird ones that happen in between. That phase in your life is crucial.

Meeting Peter and your devotion to The Oracle help you learn that there are other things in life that are important besides your GPA. You decide that walking around angry and paralyzed by stress just isn’t for you. You take a class for regular credit; you accept a “C” in math.

You study for the ACT and finally realize that a 35 just isn’t going to happen. And that is okay. Because I’ll let you in on a little secret—your wildest college dreams come true. You experience incredible success without a 5.0 and a freakishly high ACT score.

But do you know what you do have? Balance. You find happiness and learn to devote your energy to what you are truly passionate about.

Despite being a know-it-all freshman, one thing that you are right about is that high school never becomes your “thing.” You will never be one of those people who describe it as the greatest years of their lives.

You really, really, struggle at times. You have to deal with some problems that seem unfair to you. Sophomore year, clenched by sadness and anger, you stop being friends with your two best friends. You are almost completely alone.

And then, someone offers you help and, for the first time in your life, you accept it. You succumb to the possibility that no matter how independent and mature you feel—sometimes you are forced to confront things that are out of your control.

Eventually, the parties that so many live for in high school no longer interest you. Your relationship helps you realize that there are better ways to spend your time than getting drunk in someone’s basement. Peter helps you to grow up and find true happiness.

On a lighter note, you stop wearing those stupid fringe boots and short shorts that practically show your butt cheeks to school. Luna, your now-12-year-old dog,  is still alive and well despite your neurotic calculations that she would be dead by now. You no longer hate your parents (most days). Your baby siblings have all grown up so quickly; it is so sad, while simultaneously being so, so, amazing.

The people you think you’ll always be friends with will change. Eventually you find your way back to friends who you really love and appreciate, friends who support you and who you can confide in.

Another important lesson comes when you discover the dangers of depending on somebody else for your happiness. You learn the importance of remaining independent within a relationship and you learn that being alone isn’t something to fear.

You navigate high school on your own terms; you play by your own rules. You stop worrying about pleasing those around you. You now accept yourself for who you are and you make no apologies for being that person. All of this is only possible if you try your best to seize every opportunity presented to you and work on becoming a better version of yourself every single day, so I encourage you to do so.

Smile, you have so much to look forward to     in life.

Bailey Rose