Sometime last year, a friend of mine tried to drive home after previously drinking at a party. I begged her to let me give her a ride, but she stubbornly refused. When I asked her why, and she just kept repeating: “You don’t understand; my mom would kill me.” She was right; I didn’t understand.
Fortunately, I’ve always had the type of relationship with my mom where I can tell her the honest truth about a lot of things and expect a non-judgmental, rational response back. However, I know some people who are in a position far from that.
There are a lot of teens who would rather risk their lives, not to mention the lives of others, just because they’re too afraid to fess up to their parents about a mistake they’ve made.
If you suspect that your son/ daughter is drinking (or around drinking), grounding and yelling at them isn’t going to change things. Locking them in their room for the next year? Making them find new friends? We can control what we do, but we can’t control other people. Newsflash parents: it’s everywhere, and I don’t suspect it’s much different from when you all were in high school.
Is under aged drinking a good thing? Am I condoning it? Of course not, it kills our undeveloped brain cells and, if really taken out of hand, can land us in the hospital. But, if kids are going out drinking until they see the white light, then obviously, there hasn’t been an open talk at home about what’s right and wrong in a situation with alcohol.
Now on the flipside, there are parents who are aware their kids (and/or their kid’s friends) are drinking. Therefore, they don’t want them leaving the house. Some parents would rather let their kids drink in the privacy and safety of their own home, instead of out anywhere else.
Does this make them bad people? It’s easy to judge them by not being in their shoes. In fact, in a recent Oracle conducted survey, 18 percent of GBS students said that parents allowing under-aged drinking in their homes deserve to be arrested.
Arrested? Really? Because they’re being realistic, and in the long run probably preventing alcohol based deaths? Now of course every situation is different, but let’s be honest here, which conditions are safer: pretending teen drinking doesn’t go on, thus pushing teens to be sneaky about it, or having an adult monitor who has not been drinking and who can make sure every teen will get home?
If a parent is in the house, I’m sure there will be a much shorter risk of someone getting into a car crash, drowning, or ending up in the hospital. I would be the first to thank those parents for putting themselves in danger of the law, just to ensure that the safety of their children, and their children’s friends, come first. Truthfully, those people could potentially be saving the life of someone’s best friend, cousin, brother, or daughter…do they deserve to be arrested then?
Obviously it shouldn’t be happening at all, primarily for the following reasons: A) yes, it’s bad for you B) it’s illegal C) it’s addictive D) it’s dangerous; all common knowledge among most/ all teens, but yet it’s still being done.
Even the perfect student, star athlete, or student council member makes mistakes sometimes. Doesn’t mean they’re a bad kid; it just means they’re human.
However, monitoring parents are not the same as parents hosting teenage drinking parties. A mom or dad who is in the house keeping everything under control is far different than a “cool mom” buying alcohol or taking shots with her kids friends off their kitchen table. That’s how you get teens turning into alcoholics and ending up in the hospital, and that’s where the law should come into play.
There has to be some sort of middle ground. If parents are so harsh to the point where their teen is afraid to be honest with them, then that’s potentially just as dangerous as making under-aged drinking seem like it’s a fun and socially acceptable thing to do.
“My parent never let’s it get too far […] we’re open; we talk about it, [and] I feel more responsible because of it,” an anonymous GBS student stated.
Although it sounds cliché, communication is key in situations like this. Just be open with each other! A parent and a child have the closest bond that could ever be created. So, why is all this secretive?
Teens: You wouldn’t feel so much pressure to sneak around and drink if you’re open with your parents about what actually goes on. They’ve probably got a good idea already; why not take them out of the dark? It will help them worry less, and ultimately get them off your back 24/7.
Parents: I’m sure you’d rather have your son/daughter call you for a ride home at midnight, instead of getting in the car with someone who’s been drinking. So why be so hard on them? Believe it or not, teens don’t like hiding things from you; it’s unbelievably stressful, but by being open minded and unbiased they won’t have to. You’ll be able to sleep better at night, because you’ll know they’re safe and will ask for help when it’s needed. Obviously, scaring them away from trying alcohol isn’t going to work; they’ll just get sneaky about it, and didn’t you hear…? Curiosity killed the cat.
