Most Korean babies choose their future at the age of one. 

At their Doljanchi, a Korean tradition celebrating a baby’s first birthday, objects like money, a book, toothbrush, stethoscope, and more are placed in front of the baby. If they choose the money, they will be rich. If they choose the book, they will become an author, and so on. 

When I turned one, I chose the toothbrush, and therefore, a future of being a dentist. I’m sure my parents would have loved a dentist. They also would have loved a God-fearing, no back-talking, quiet little girl. 

However, I don’t think I developed into the person my parents were expecting. When I kept being told I was Christian, obedient girl, all I wanted to do was become the opposite.

And that’s what I became; I skipped Friday night service more often than not. I spoke my mind. I was unabashedly loud. 

But all through high school, I was ashamed that I couldn’t fit into the role of exactly what they wanted, and no matter how much I tried, I wasn’t changing. I kept doing the things I did. 

What I realized was that I liked the person I was. Although I do want to go to a couple more services, be a little less blunt, and lower my volume a little, I wasn’t didn’t changeinge because I truly didn’t want to fundamentally change parts of myself. 

That’s not to say I am throwing away all the past influences in my life. I am eternally grateful for the guidance I have received from family, friends, and other places.

But, I’m making my own way. I’m finding my own place in a religion that I thought I could never find comfort in. I’m learning to say my piece but also let other people say theirs. Maybe I’m still just as loud as I was before, but I am finding peace with that.

Life is all give and take, push or pull. I realized that I didn’t need to be the exact person I thought my parents wanted me to be. 

In fact, I now also work at a dentist’s office as a dental assistant. I chose this not because they told me to,  but because I wanted to. Somewhere along the way, I wound up on a path I thought I would never take. 

The only person that will truly know what your best interests are is you. 

No matter what you have done, your path is never completely set in stone, and nobody should be able to choose it for you. 

Choose your own path, and don’t look back.