I wandered around the hallways, keeping a copy of the school map in my pocket with all of my classes labeled for my first day. I walked circles around the cafeteria, wondering where the cold sandwiches were and where they had moved the pasta. I kept having to ask everyone around me when the classes started, interrupting people in the hallways to ask if passing periods were nine or ten minutes. 

It was just my first day, and I figured that the second one would feel a little bit familiar. However, even as more days have passed September 18, I have still found myself overwhelmed between in-person learning, a new school year, and a whole host of extracurriculars. As I’ve attempted to hold tightly to the reigns of an infinite number of moving pieces, I keep thinking about how different this is from what I imagined for my senior year.

The more that I’ve talked about it with friends, the more I’ve realized that I’m not the only one that has been feeling overwhelmed being completely back to “normal”. Just as we all had to adjust to e-learning, we all are now adjusting back to what we’re told is “the normal” but hardly feels like it. 

I always figured that, by the time I was beginning my final year as a Titan, I would have everything worked out. I would get used to the flow of my classes. I would pull into the West Lot without it feeling like an extreme sport. And yet, now that I’m here, with only a single year left, nothing seems to have changed since my very first day at South.  

The beginning of my senior year, the one where I’m supposed to have it all under control, left me feeling overwhelmed. After my first day this year, my mom told me that she hadn’t seen me that rattled since I came home the first day of my freshman year. 

I keep finding myself asking, “Have the hallways always had this many people?” “Have my classes always been this big?” “Have the quizzes always been this difficult?” “Normal” doesn’t feel “normal” when it has been over a year and a half, and there’s no point in pretending that this shift doesn’t feel abnormal or difficult. 

It’s important that we all provide ourselves with the grace and forgiveness that we offered ourselves as we moved into e-learning as we move back out of it. The expectations for all of us last year, and the one before that, were incredibly different, and coming back to life from a few years ago is an adjustment. It’s an important one that we have to make, but that doesn’t prevent it from feeling difficult. 

It is okay to feel overwhelmed right now. To go from assessments that were changed to be almost exclusively in short answer or open notes to the same memorization-based formats we’re “used to” is a big shift. To go from rolling over in bed and clicking “join meeting” to pushing through the barricade that forms at the top of the staircases is no small task. It’s a lot to juggle.

If anything, having a hard time adjusting is expected. We need to offer ourselves time and respect our own processes. Whether that’s getting used to seeing people again in large groups or waiting in lunch lines that snake around the cafeteria, there are a myriad of things that we need to get used to experiencing again. 

Give yourself moments to breathe. Stop and take some time to yourself if you need any. I’ve found that taking time to myself, writing down my thoughts, and getting organized has helped me stay calm, but the most important part is taking moments to reflect or recalibrate when things get stressful. 

Already, as more weeks pass, I feel myself adjusting back to life before the pandemic. Feeling like “normal” is truly “normal” again isn’t going to happen overnight, but it will take a few months of slowly inching back into routine. 

Going back to school, at least for me, has not proven like riding a bike. I expected it to be, but it only took a few hours in the building for me to realize just how different everything was and was going to be. I cannot overemphasize just how important it is that we forgive ourselves if things are difficult at first and offer ourselves kindness in making this transition. It isn’t about “figuring everything out” but instead navigating through challenges as they come.

It isn’t fun when you’re “in the thick of it”, but pushing through challenges is what makes us stronger people. It feels difficult to juggle extracurricular activities, in-school experiences, and college applications, but I know that I’ll come out of it a stronger, more capable person. 

And, hopefully, that stronger, more capable person will also know how to navigate the room numbers. 

I wandered around the hallways, keeping a copy of the school map in my pocket with all of my classes labeled for my first day. I walked circles around the cafeteria, wondering where the cold sandwiches were and where they had moved the pasta. I kept having to ask everyone around me when the classes started, interrupting people in the hallways to ask if passing periods were nine or ten minutes. 

This is not what I imagined for my senior year. It was just my first day, and I figured that the second one would feel a little bit familiar. However, even as more days have passed September 18, I have still found myself overwhelmed between in-person learning, a new school year, and a whole host of extracurriculars. As I’ve attempted to hold tightly to the reigns of an infinite number of moving pieces, I keep thinking about how different this is from what I imagined for my senior year.

The more that I’ve talked about it with friends, the more I’ve realized that I’m not the only one that has been feeling overwhelmed being completely back to “normal”. Just as we all had to adjust to e-learning, we all are now adjusting back to what we’re told is “the normal” but hardly feels like it. 

I keep finding myself asking, “Have the hallways always had this many people?” “Have my classes always been this big?” “Have the quizzes always been this difficult?” “Normal” doesn’t feel “normal” when it has been over a year and a half, and there’s no point in pretending that this shift doesn’t feel abnormal or difficult. 

It’s important that we offer ourselves that same forgiveness that we gave ourselves when we first started e-learning as we move out of it. The expectations for all of us last year, and the one before that, were incredibly different, and coming back to life from a few years ago is an adjustment. It’s an important one that we have to make, but that doesn’t prevent it from feeling difficult. 

It is okay to feel overwhelmed right now. To go from assessments that were changed to be almost exclusively in short answer or open notes to the same memorization-based formats we’re “used to” is a big shift. To go from rolling over in bed and clicking “join meeting” to pushing through the barricade that forms at the top of the staircases is no small task. It’s a lot to juggle.

If anything, having a hard time adjusting is expected. We need to offer ourselves time and respect our own processes. 

Give yourself moments to breathe. Stop and take some time to yourself if you need any. I’ve found that taking time to myself, writing down my thoughts, and getting organized has helped me stay calm, but the most important part is taking moments to reflect or recalibrate when things get stressful. 

Already, as more weeks pass, I feel myself adjusting back to life before the pandemic. Feeling like “normal” is truly “normal” again isn’t going to happen overnight, but it will take a few months of slowly inching back into routine. 

Going back to school, at least for me, has not proven like riding a bike. I expected it to be, but it only took a few hours in the building for me to realize just how different everything was and was going to be. I cannot overemphasize just how important it is that we forgive ourselves if things are difficult at first and offer ourselves kindness in making this transition. It isn’t about “figuring everything out” but instead navigating through challenges as they come.

It isn’t fun when you’re “in the thick of it”, but pushing through challenges is what makes us stronger people. It feels difficult to juggle extracurricular activities, in-school experiences, and college applications, but I know that I’ll come out of it a stronger, more capable person. 

And, hopefully, that stronger, more capable person will also know how to navigate the room numbers.