One of my most vivid memories of my eighth-grade year is going to the South activities fair.
Everything felt so new as I walked through South’s unfamiliar halls, next to new exciting faces. When I entered the field house for the first time, it felt huge. It was terrifying walking past all of the possible clubs and activities that could shape the person I could become and the people I would meet.
Then, as a cautiously hopeful, soon-to-be Titan, I really did feel like I would find myself in high school.
If only I knew how wrong I was.
Don’t get me wrong, I have truly enjoyed the experiences that South has given me. Seemingly endless variety show rehearsals, tiring long runs in cross country, and anxiety filled tech rehearsals, draining as they might’ve seemed, always had an undertone of fun. But, I can’t help but feel as though they defied my expectations.
Of course I have a lot to show from these past four years, new friends, knowledge, and interests that I never would have predicted. But, despite all of the new things that have become a part of my life, I can’t say that I know who I am or who I want to become.
I have met new people, I’ve become involved in new things, but I’m still unsure about almost everything that I thought I would have figured out by now.
As an optimistic eighth grader looking towards my four years at South, there was a lot I was hoping to realize, and while I hate to break it to middle-school Sarah, I cannot say I’ve gotten anywhere near those “realizations.”
My college major, future career, and what I want to be a part of at UIUC, are still things that I feel a lot of uncertainty about. And interestingly enough, I find myself in the same place as I was on that fateful night of the activities fair, unsure about my next four years of school.
I feel the same cautious optimism that I felt as a future Titan, but I’ve learned a little bit since then. If there’s anything that high school has taught me, it’s that I don’t need to have everything figured out now, or even in college.
Life is full of change, and I have changed right along with it. But, even as I experience new things and meet new people in the following years, I know that my uncertainty might not go away. Now, I wish I could tell my younger, wide-eyed self that just because you aren’t sure where you’re going, it’s still worth taking the journey to get there.
