As a freshman at this fine institution, I used to look around for examples of proper behavior from the upperclassmen. Now, I am the upperclassman and see large numbers of confused freshmen walking around oblivious to the proper conduct of high school. It is for you, freshmen, whom I’d like to share a list of tips and rules (yes, rules).

I’d like to let you know that this set of rules was not created by me. This is simply the observed Truth.

School can be hard sometimes, yes, but you will make it harder by choosing to walk around with a five-ton rucksack on your back.

There is a right and a wrong way to get from class to class. The right way sounds simple: walk. And yet I often find that the Glenbrook South student body does this poorly.

First off, running is not necessary. However, being on time requires you to actually walk for those five minutes and not participate in any of the following activities.

Don’t stop walking. If you don’t have anywhere better to be than standing still at the bottom of the New Pit stairs, find somewhere better to be.

Having a friend to walk to class with is nice, and if that friend is also going to walk hand-in-hand with you and suck on your neck, I am happy for you. But I really, REALLY don’t want to see it.

Additionally, get good grades. When you’re applying to college, you’re going to wish your grades were better, so you might as well start working at it now.

Now that the important issues have been covered, I’d like to address some of the more trivial matters, such as dress code.

For guys, it’s simple: don’t be dumb. If you are wearing a shirt that portrays anything involving beer, sex or five leaf clovers, you’re going to be forced to turn your shirt inside out.

For girls, don’t wear miniskirts or SHORT-shorts. It’s usually not as attractive as you think and even if it is, this is school. Let’s keep work away from play, shall we?

Freshmen, even if you have the crowded fifth period lunch, you have your cafeteria and the SAC to eat and hang out in, so stay there.

If you need to go to your locker or see a teacher during lunch, go at the beginning of the period because if you don’t, you will have to play the game of get-past-the-parapro. When forced to play the game, it’s always good to have a strategy.

You can either walk right by the parapro and pretend that you have something very important to do and that the rules of the hallway don’t apply to you, or you can choose to approach with a sunny disposition and use kindness to get your way across the line they guard (this one really never works).

Accidents and embarassment are common, but there are ways to avoid them.

Look up when you’re walking. This is one of my biggest pet-peeves. You can text your mom (or whoever you need to talk to at 1:30 on a Tuesday) when you get to the top of the stairs.

I’m on the field for football games, but I can tell you this: you should go. They’re fun. And please, if you’re not going to go to every game, at least wear blue and gold on Fridays. If you wear red on the day we play Maine South, you will be judged. Don’t do that to yourself.

Late arrivals are amazing, and I would recommend you take full advantage of those two hours by either sleeping in late or going out to breakfast.

Although everybody is happy on late arrival days because the periods are shorter and they got extra sleep the night before, don’t be the too-happy kid that goes up to kids and asks, “Dude, are my eyes still red?!” You know the kid.

Calling yourself out of school is nearly impossible.  Somehow they know what your parents’ voices sounds like. It’s a little freaky.

Lastly, get involved. Whether it’s Juice Club or  STAND, there are so many fun things to do at this school, and I encourage everyone to get involved.

In time, you will learn the rest of the tricks of this school. I am confident that every one of you, freshmen, can have as great of a time here as I have had so far.