Ever wonder why childhood stars like Lindsay Lohan and Michael Jackson end up falling into drug addiction, rehab or just straight-up craziness? Well, it’s really not that complex: kids aren’t meant to grow up in the spotlight.

Yet, many parents treat their kids like they’re the greatest thing to ever walk the earth; they raise their kids like they’re the next MJ. The problem with these parents is that they don’t know how to say “no” to their children.  And although this is not a new issue, what is fairly new are the TV shows chronicling the lives of these kids.

I’m referring to the TLC show Toddlers & Tiaras, which follows young girls as they compete in beauty pageants, or more accurately, that-show-that-follows-parents-with-too-much-time-on-their-hands-forcing-their-kids-to-play-competitive-dress-up. And if you have never seen the show, I can assure you, you’re not missing anything but a headache.

You see, 4-year-old kids aren’t known for their acting or talent abilities; the only thing that these kids really have going for them is their so-called “cuteness” (minus that one mesmerizing performance by a girl who could play two chords on a guitar).

My problem is that the kids in these pageants are supposed to come off as “cute”, but they are anything but. And I’ve got a few reasons on why the kids on the show irk me.

First off, I don’t like bratty children. I mean, yeah, at first it’s cute when a little girl acts all bossy and acts like she can tell her older brothers what to do, but ultimately, the novelty wears off.  And what’s frightening is when you eventually realize that these girls actually wield power over their parents.

Next is that the kids are constantly crying; maybe I’m the only one, but I really don’t enjoy watching a 4-year-old girl scream and shout while forcefully being spray tanned by her mother.

Thirdly, I have trouble seeing these girls as “cute” because of a thing in the pageant world known as Glitz. Glitz is the name of a beauty competition, in which the goal is to dress your little girl up in as much makeup and fake hair as possible until she resembles a 20-year-old.

Maybe I just don’t understand the appeal of beauty pageants because I’m not a 30-year-old stay-at-home parent with a 2-year-old girl and too much time on my hands, but from my point of view, this is borderline child abuse.

Yeah, the children say they want to do pageants, but they also kick and fight when their moms try to get them into their thousand-dollar dresses.

And then, there’s the chemical abuse.

A common practice at these pageants is for mothers to feed their girls loads of candy before they go up in front of the judges, so that they bring their “A” game. And Pixy Stix are called “the cocaine of beauty pageants.”

And for some mothers, that’s not enough: in one episode, a mother had her daughter chug a concoction she called “go-go juice” (I’m pretty sure it was just Mountain Dew with the label peeled off).

Toddler beauty pageants go up against everything children their age should be learning.

The daily focus for these girls is learning to put on makeup and dress up pretty to win trophies and get money, when they should be learning things like how to read and do addition; stuff that’s going to really help them later in life.